Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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