We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
