Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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