i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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