Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
