Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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