i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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