Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
