Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
