I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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