Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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