So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize