i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
