He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
