i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
