No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
