Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
