Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize