would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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