go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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