I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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