Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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