nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
