u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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