Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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