watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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