I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
