I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize