Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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