Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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