Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
