Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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