our cab driver is having phone sex.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
