She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
