he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
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I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
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