When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
