I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize