Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize