sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize