He disabled his match.com account in front of me
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
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Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
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You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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