you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
