But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
should my penis look like a turkey
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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