I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
