If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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