Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
