i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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