I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
i think im in europe. pls send help
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
