Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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