the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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