I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
He kissed a someone with a penis
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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