The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
