when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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