You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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