Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
