i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
