Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
