omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
hell yes lets make some ravioli
found the other keg... it's in the tree
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
