shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Just cropdusted the office
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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