yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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