Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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