this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I'm passing your future prison.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
