Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize