Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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