did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Randomize
