Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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