If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
