Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize